Originally I was going to cheerily blog about each portion of my vacation and all the cool things that we've gotten to do. But instead I've figured out something very important that I want to talk about. It may seem like I'm complaining, but I'm not. It's more like I've come to this realization and am now calmly waiting out the ride, so to speak.
First off, family vacations are a big thing in my family. When I was about five years old, we inherited a timeshare from my great aunt and our family began using it every summer for our vacation. The first two summers we visited Lake Tahoe. Our timeshare includes a super nice condo, usually in places that have a ton of fun activities for families to do throughout their week stay. When we were younger, there were always a bunch of kids running around the place and we usually ended up making some good friends for the week.
Over the years, using our condo for a week every summer became a tradition for us. We got it down to a system. We would arrive and unpack everything into all the drawers. It used to feel like we were trying out a new home for a week and we had a lot of fun with it. Next, we would be off to the local supermarket to stock up on food for the week, including always buying something that we could BBQ because of course the condos come fully equipped with a kitchen, grill, and lovely patio. Then it would be dinnertime and after dinner was planning time.
This was my favorite part. My dad and I shared the fact that we were both planners. We would sit down at the table with a bunch of brochures about the area and activities and my dad would plan out the week...with my help of course. It was our thing. Each day we did something unique and exciting and we truly had a ton of fun.
This year, family vacation was different, to say the least. First off, and most importantly, it's the first vacation we've taken since my dad died. We had originally planned to go on a small trip together last summer, but I got really sick and we ended up cancelling the trip. So needless to say, it was hard. A huge part of my memories of these trips is being with my dad and having a wonderful time. And this year, he wasn't here. So tradition was already broken.
Secondly, and this is partly my own fault, is that my sister's boyfriend came along on this trip. Back in like, March, my mom asked me if I'd be okay with him coming on our family vacation. At the time, I didn't think anything of it. Alex is already a big part of our family and I thought it would be fun, so I said yes. But it really hasn't been fun at all. The truth is, since my life is at school in New Paltz, my mom, my sister, and her bf have formed a different kind of relationship. Yes, I'm still a part of the family, but the three of them are always together and they have their own, new way of living, which doesn't include me. Now of course that is fine. That's the way it's supposed to be. But I've been home for over a month now and they haven't been able to adjust to include me in the family. And frankly, I feel left out and completely alone.
See the three of them are very much alike and they get along really well. And it's great. I'm actually thrilled that it's like that. But I don't fit in and lately I feel like they gang up on me all the time. So the majority of this vacation I have spent either actually by myself, or feeling completely alone because they don't include me in their conversations. Like Harry at the Dursleys, I sort of just take up space.
Now comes the realization. I don't actually care that they aren't including me, although at times it's been hard (like the ganging up on me thing) because the truth is I don't want to be here.
I want to be in New Paltz.
It's amazing how prior to Spring Break, I wasn't sure I would ever be okay on my own, and after, I realized that I had a great life there and was completely ready to be on my own. My life is in New Paltz. My friends are there, my school is there, and the organizations that make college so great are all there. My entire life is there. And I'm stuck here. It's hard to be your life on pause, especially when it's just getting started, which is how I feel. My life really started to come together this last April and I began accomplishing things that I was really proud of and excited about. I finally feel like I have a solid group of friends and I'm a part of something that I've worked really hard to become a part of. And right as all that started coming together, school ended and I had to come home. And now, my life is on hold until August 19th.
It's extremely difficult. And I've come to realize it even more so on this vacation, with a bunch of people who are family by blood, but not really a part of my life anymore...at least not the way they used to be. Family is still important, but they are no longer the priority in my life. In a sense, my mom has done her job. She's raised me and guided me through some rough things, but now her job is over and it's time for me to take control of my own life and start pursuing what I want. And most importantly, it's time for me to stop coming home. That part of my life is over and I'm looking onward to the next part, where I really get to become an adult.
So with this realization, I sit in this condo, holding out for two more days until this vacation is over. I'm counting down the days until LeakyCon, which includes something that has completely changed my college career (The HPA) and counting the days until I can return home, to my life in New Paltz, which is where I truly belong.
June 27, 2011
June 21, 2011
RIP Paul Seay
Yesterday, a good friend of mine passed away. I met Paul when I was a junior in high school. It was the night of the MORP dance and both Ashli and Karina had dates, and I, well, didn't. About halfway through the dance, I was feeling so alone and left out that I left. I called Mace, who happened to be at Lalina's, and decided to meet him over there until the dance was over because I had to still had to go back for clean-up.
I wasn't at Lalina's very long, but for the 20 or so minutes I was there, it was quite obvious that Paul was a crazy, interesting guy. Plus, I thought he was really cute. I probably had a crush on him for over a year, though of course nothing ever happened. But then again, I never really tried.
I really got to know Paul when I got really involved with BBYO my senior year of high school. I also started dating one of his friends and for about 3 months I swear that group was together every night. Paul was always doing or saying something ridiculous. The thing I remember the most was when he bought his hookah. I can't remember what he named her, but she was his most prized possession. He treated her like she was his baby.
I also remember one night where there were about 7 too many people trying to cram into his little mustang (which, by the way, is the best car I have ever seen/been in in my entire life). I'm pretty sure everyone was drunk except for me, so for some reason they all decided I should drive the car with NINE PEOPLE in it. I actually was really excited to drive that car because Paul never let anyone drive it, but then it started to rain and I panicked and I think Igal ending up driving the car.
It makes me sad to think that I haven't really hung out with him since last summer. As I start to build more of a life in New Paltz, my life from Vegas is fading away and I've lost touch with a ton of people who made high school an amazing experience. Hearing the news last night that this person I used to be close to was gone was really difficult, especially because my family has seen a lot of death in the last year.
I don't know if I believe in heaven or not, but I hope that wherever he is, it's a better place. Knowing Paul, he's probably having a great time, because no matter what, that's what he always did when he was here. He had a way of looking at life that most people don't and was just happy to be alive and enjoying whatever came along. That is something I will continue to admire about him for a very long time to come.
RIP Paul <3
I wasn't at Lalina's very long, but for the 20 or so minutes I was there, it was quite obvious that Paul was a crazy, interesting guy. Plus, I thought he was really cute. I probably had a crush on him for over a year, though of course nothing ever happened. But then again, I never really tried.
I really got to know Paul when I got really involved with BBYO my senior year of high school. I also started dating one of his friends and for about 3 months I swear that group was together every night. Paul was always doing or saying something ridiculous. The thing I remember the most was when he bought his hookah. I can't remember what he named her, but she was his most prized possession. He treated her like she was his baby.
I also remember one night where there were about 7 too many people trying to cram into his little mustang (which, by the way, is the best car I have ever seen/been in in my entire life). I'm pretty sure everyone was drunk except for me, so for some reason they all decided I should drive the car with NINE PEOPLE in it. I actually was really excited to drive that car because Paul never let anyone drive it, but then it started to rain and I panicked and I think Igal ending up driving the car.
It makes me sad to think that I haven't really hung out with him since last summer. As I start to build more of a life in New Paltz, my life from Vegas is fading away and I've lost touch with a ton of people who made high school an amazing experience. Hearing the news last night that this person I used to be close to was gone was really difficult, especially because my family has seen a lot of death in the last year.
I don't know if I believe in heaven or not, but I hope that wherever he is, it's a better place. Knowing Paul, he's probably having a great time, because no matter what, that's what he always did when he was here. He had a way of looking at life that most people don't and was just happy to be alive and enjoying whatever came along. That is something I will continue to admire about him for a very long time to come.
RIP Paul <3
June 20, 2011
Guys...There are a lot of Owls
So by now I'm sure we all know about the owls gathering and pottermore.com. If not, then I don't where you've been, but I suggest you get caught up with the world. Honestly, last Wednesday was completely exciting. For one, it was my birthday, and when I saw that JK Rowling was throwing clues about something around the internet, I got really excited and thought it was the best birthday present in the world.
I have to admit, I was a fan of the #morepotter instead of #pottermore, but that's okay. There was something that made me really angry about 3 or 4 coordinates into the game. Someone posted a spoiler on Twitter, ruining the entire experience for fans. And it wasn't even a *HINT, THIS IS A SPOILER* kind of message. It flat out said, "Oh hey guys, so basically it says Pottermore" AND DONE. I mean yes, it wasn't the most complicated of messages to figure out, but as someone who has never before been a part of deciphering JK Rowling's clues, I wanted the experience and I wanted to figure it out for myself.
Anyway, there is of course a ton of speculation about what Pottermore is going to be. A lot of my friends are saying it's going to be like a message board type thing, but I feel like that is
1)slightly anti-climatic
and
2)not really necessary because there are a ton of forums about Harry Potter all over the internet
However, I have absolutely no idea what I think it is. I was discussing it with my mom the other day and she came up with the idea that maybe it is some sort of Advocacy Project that JK Rowling is working on. That sounds kind of cool, so for now, that's my sort of theory.
Anyway, have you guys seen all the owls on the YouTube...there's like 19 or something. I counted them this morning. Only 2 more days 18 hours, and 4 minutes left until the big announcement!
What do you think it is? :)
If you have not seen the owls, I suggest you go:
www.pottermore.com
www.youtube.com/jkrowlingannounces
IMMEDIATELY!
I have to admit, I was a fan of the #morepotter instead of #pottermore, but that's okay. There was something that made me really angry about 3 or 4 coordinates into the game. Someone posted a spoiler on Twitter, ruining the entire experience for fans. And it wasn't even a *HINT, THIS IS A SPOILER* kind of message. It flat out said, "Oh hey guys, so basically it says Pottermore" AND DONE. I mean yes, it wasn't the most complicated of messages to figure out, but as someone who has never before been a part of deciphering JK Rowling's clues, I wanted the experience and I wanted to figure it out for myself.
Anyway, there is of course a ton of speculation about what Pottermore is going to be. A lot of my friends are saying it's going to be like a message board type thing, but I feel like that is
1)slightly anti-climatic
and
2)not really necessary because there are a ton of forums about Harry Potter all over the internet
However, I have absolutely no idea what I think it is. I was discussing it with my mom the other day and she came up with the idea that maybe it is some sort of Advocacy Project that JK Rowling is working on. That sounds kind of cool, so for now, that's my sort of theory.
Anyway, have you guys seen all the owls on the YouTube...there's like 19 or something. I counted them this morning. Only 2 more days 18 hours, and 4 minutes left until the big announcement!
What do you think it is? :)
If you have not seen the owls, I suggest you go:
www.pottermore.com
www.youtube.com/jkrowlingannounces
IMMEDIATELY!
June 7, 2011
A Real Blog Post: Who Knew
It's been quite a long time since I posted a real blog. I guess I will briefly discuss what's been going on since I so abruptly stopped writing during BEDA. In the middle of April, my sister became very ill and although there was a not a lot I could do from across the country, blogging every single day became way too much of a hassle added to all my schoolwork, clubs, and worrying about my family.
However, now that I've been home a couple of weeks and have gotten to see for myself what's been going on, I feel like I have the time to begin blogging again. Plus, I really miss it and just wanted to get back into it.
Today's blog is therefore coming to you in TWO PARTS:
PART 1:This Thing Called DOCTOR WHO
Last summer at Infinitus, I was semi introduced to this show called Doctor Who by my crazy roommates Lindsey and Bri. I really had no idea what they were talking about and I honestly had no interest whatsoever, so it got pushed to the back of my mind. Fast forward to sometime in during the Fall Semester, where a number of new Dumbledore's Army Members are obsessing about this show. Of course I had heard of it talked about by some of my favorite vloggers, but I realized it was time to take the plunge and start watching. Truth be told I did not really get into it until the beginning of April.
Since I've been home from school, I've tried desperately to catch up so that I could actually watch a new episode the day it came out. I believe when I left school in May I was somewhere in the middle of the fourth season (though I could be wrong...I don't exactly remember). Unfortunately, I didn't make it. I watched the newest episode on Tuesday, 3 days after it came out. But hey, I was close.
And now for spoilers.
CAN WE TALK ABOUT RIVER SONG PLEASE??!?!?
Since River has been introduced to the show, she instantly became my favorite character. Like I had this thing where if I saw River was going to be in the next episode I would stay up and watch it even though that meant being really tired to go into work the next morning. But seriously, River is amazing. I kind of want to be her.
I love how she banters with The Doctor, and knows him better than he knows himself. I love how you can totally tell that they are meant for each other (because clearly they are meant for each other). What I'm not so sure about is how I feel about who she really is. Also, I have lots of questions, theories, and ideas rolling around in my head about her because even though we now know who she is, there is still so much we really have no idea about.
I think it's awesome that River is part Time Lord, and clearly we see that she regenerates in the episode where she is in New York as a child and she dies. But that made me wonder two things. If she is part Time Lord, why didn't she just regenerate in The Library when she was killed? I don't exactly remember the details of her death, but I'm pretty sure she would have been able to regenerate. Yet she dies.
Here's the thing that gets me the most: When we see The Doctor die in the first episode this season, is River the one in the suit that kills him? If so, then she would be standing on the shore watching herself kill The Doctor and I feel like she would have remembered. Now my friend Nicole pointed out that because of The Silence she may not have remembered, which I guess is true. But oh my gosh, the River theories that will ensue.
And now, on to Part 2:
I just finished reading Harry, A History. Now the last few months I've been so caught up with school and work and all my other responsibilities, that I have kind of backed off in the HP world, which isn't especially good since I run an HPA Chapter. Reading Melissa's book reminded me of why I love this fandom and what it has meant to me over the years. I saw there reading about these different moments and I kept remembering how I felt at those moments in The Harry Potter phenomenon and how it's changed me and made me grow.
It got me really excited to be a part of something amazing, even four years after the books are over. Unfortunately, in July, we are going to reach another point where it really feels like Harry is ending because the last movie will be coming out. Of course, the end of the books was a much bigger moment, but still it's another, more solid ending to something that has been a part of my life for 11 years. I feel lucky that I'll be celebrating it with the most dedicated and awesome people in the world at LeakyCon 2011. It's truly the best way to end something so amazing.
I've also been re-inspired by The HPA and everything that they've allowed me to help with over the last year. I can't wait to get involved in the final Horcrux of The Deathly Hallows campaign, and I'm hoping to really dedicate myself to this organization over the next few years because I believe we are going to accomplish some wonderful things. After all, we already are. Sometimes, all it takes are a few simple words to rekindle your passion for something, and this book definitely helped me do just that.
:)
However, now that I've been home a couple of weeks and have gotten to see for myself what's been going on, I feel like I have the time to begin blogging again. Plus, I really miss it and just wanted to get back into it.
Today's blog is therefore coming to you in TWO PARTS:
PART 1:This Thing Called DOCTOR WHO
Last summer at Infinitus, I was semi introduced to this show called Doctor Who by my crazy roommates Lindsey and Bri. I really had no idea what they were talking about and I honestly had no interest whatsoever, so it got pushed to the back of my mind. Fast forward to sometime in during the Fall Semester, where a number of new Dumbledore's Army Members are obsessing about this show. Of course I had heard of it talked about by some of my favorite vloggers, but I realized it was time to take the plunge and start watching. Truth be told I did not really get into it until the beginning of April.
Since I've been home from school, I've tried desperately to catch up so that I could actually watch a new episode the day it came out. I believe when I left school in May I was somewhere in the middle of the fourth season (though I could be wrong...I don't exactly remember). Unfortunately, I didn't make it. I watched the newest episode on Tuesday, 3 days after it came out. But hey, I was close.
And now for spoilers.
CAN WE TALK ABOUT RIVER SONG PLEASE??!?!?
Since River has been introduced to the show, she instantly became my favorite character. Like I had this thing where if I saw River was going to be in the next episode I would stay up and watch it even though that meant being really tired to go into work the next morning. But seriously, River is amazing. I kind of want to be her.
I love how she banters with The Doctor, and knows him better than he knows himself. I love how you can totally tell that they are meant for each other (because clearly they are meant for each other). What I'm not so sure about is how I feel about who she really is. Also, I have lots of questions, theories, and ideas rolling around in my head about her because even though we now know who she is, there is still so much we really have no idea about.
I think it's awesome that River is part Time Lord, and clearly we see that she regenerates in the episode where she is in New York as a child and she dies. But that made me wonder two things. If she is part Time Lord, why didn't she just regenerate in The Library when she was killed? I don't exactly remember the details of her death, but I'm pretty sure she would have been able to regenerate. Yet she dies.
Here's the thing that gets me the most: When we see The Doctor die in the first episode this season, is River the one in the suit that kills him? If so, then she would be standing on the shore watching herself kill The Doctor and I feel like she would have remembered. Now my friend Nicole pointed out that because of The Silence she may not have remembered, which I guess is true. But oh my gosh, the River theories that will ensue.
And now, on to Part 2:
I just finished reading Harry, A History. Now the last few months I've been so caught up with school and work and all my other responsibilities, that I have kind of backed off in the HP world, which isn't especially good since I run an HPA Chapter. Reading Melissa's book reminded me of why I love this fandom and what it has meant to me over the years. I saw there reading about these different moments and I kept remembering how I felt at those moments in The Harry Potter phenomenon and how it's changed me and made me grow.
It got me really excited to be a part of something amazing, even four years after the books are over. Unfortunately, in July, we are going to reach another point where it really feels like Harry is ending because the last movie will be coming out. Of course, the end of the books was a much bigger moment, but still it's another, more solid ending to something that has been a part of my life for 11 years. I feel lucky that I'll be celebrating it with the most dedicated and awesome people in the world at LeakyCon 2011. It's truly the best way to end something so amazing.
I've also been re-inspired by The HPA and everything that they've allowed me to help with over the last year. I can't wait to get involved in the final Horcrux of The Deathly Hallows campaign, and I'm hoping to really dedicate myself to this organization over the next few years because I believe we are going to accomplish some wonderful things. After all, we already are. Sometimes, all it takes are a few simple words to rekindle your passion for something, and this book definitely helped me do just that.
:)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)