So I'm listening to these two new cds that I bought today and the music is so calming. And I started to think...what I could I do while listening to this awesome music? And the answer was blog. So here I am...doing that.
I want to say ahead of time, that this post is not going to that great. It's probably going to have a lot of complaining and it's probably going to be mostly negative. But sometimes you just have to write about the crappy things in life, so that's what I'm going to do.
You've been warned.
Here we go.
I've had to take a Leave of Absence from school. I'm having health issues that I could no longer deal with along with my school work and other activities. So two weeks ago, I came home. I'm feeling a few different emotions. One is fear. I know that whatever is going on isn't life threatening, so I'm not like afraid for me life or anything...at least not in that way. But I am afraid of testing. I'm afraid that the doctors are not going to find anything. So far, that' been the case. I've been told over and over again that my blood work came back normal, that my chest x-ray came back normal, and that I just have a viral infection. Given the amount of time I've been sick, I'm pretty sure that isn't true. Yesterday I had a biopsy taken of a rash that I have on my feet. I'm almost positive that if they find something in that biopsy, I'm going to have figured out what the problem is. But what I'm really afraid of is that they aren't going to find anything. That's what's worse in a way. Just not knowing.
I also have to have a very icky procedure done in a couple of weeks. Now, I won't go into details, because really it's just gross. But I have to clean out my system in preparation for this procedure (you can probably figure out what that means) and then for the actual procedure I have to be put out. And that's just a whole other level of scary. I hate that feeling of going under. It's freaky and not natural and just gahh. Hate it.
Anyway, besides the fear, there's something else. I feel lonely. I feel bored. I've basically sat in the house by myself for the last two weeks because the few friends that I have at home are too busy to come visit. And I don't blame them. They have their own lives. I wish I had one too. And I understand how busy they are, because two weeks ago I was that busy (if not more) than they are. But still, it's lonely.
And mostly, I miss my life. I had to give up a lot of amazing opportunities because I had to come home. I'm missing what was supposed to be my first Comic-Con tomorrow. I also applied to be a delegate at a leadership conference in November, and I got 2nd Alternate. But I was going to get to go. I worked my ass off on my application and was SO EXCITED for this opportunity. And I lost it. Just gone. Poof. What a waste of work. I had to move out of the place I've called home for a year and am likely not going to get back into my amazing, wonderful building when I am able to return to school. I lost my awesome roommate, who I couldn't wait to share a room with this year.
I'm missing out on some of my friends' Senior Year. My amazing RA and friend is graduating in December. I will probably never see her again. And of course, I've had to take a break from the amazing organizations that make my life crazy and amazing. NRHH, Hall Government, RHSA, and my baby...Dumbledore's Army. And last but not least, I'm no longer surrounded by friends. It's already hard enough because I live so far away, so I miss out during Winter and Summer Break. But now I'm missing a semester. So much happens in one semester.
I had to give up the wonderful classes that I was excited to take this semester. Thankfully, I will be able to re-take most of them, though with different professors. In every single aspect of my life, I've lost a lot over the last few weeks. It's just really hard and I don't think I'm handling it all that well.
With that being said, I kind of came to my senses yesterday. I don't want to sit in my room until they figure out what's wrong with me. I've been reading a lot which I have been enjoying, but I can't spend the next three months just sitting in my room with a book (though I would probably make a huge dent in my list for once). But I need social interaction. I need to do something with my life. So my plans have changed. That's okay, and I've already kind of figured out a plan for myself once I go back to school as far as my academics go. So I won't graduate on time...that's not a big deal. A lot of people aren't able to graduate in 4 years anymore anyway. But I wanted to figure out a way to spend my time at home, both while I wait to find out what's going on, and hopefully once I'm all nice and better. I realize that some days I'm going to have to just lay in bed and do something. Not every day is going to be a good day. I'm prepared for that.
For starters, I've decided that I'm going to walk around my neighborhood every morning. Getting outside and doing some sort of exercise, without straining myself, is probably going to help me a ton so I don't go completely stir crazy. And on days where I'm doing really good (like the last two days) I'm going to do something fun. Like tomorrow, I'm going to hang out with my sister on her college campus and help her re-do her dorm room a bit. And Monday I'm going to take a drive out to visit my dad's grave. A nice long drive will probably do me good anyway...and it's a good 45 minute drive from my house.
So that's my plan. I know how easily I could fall into a depression by sitting here in my house doing nothing all the time. And despite all the shit that is happening in my life right now, I'm still overall a happy person. In general, I'm content with my life and I'm excited for my future. So I just have to remind myself of that and do something to get my spirit up when I'm feeling down, and hopefully everything will be okay.
October 14, 2011
September 9, 2011
Starcrossed by Josephine Angelini (DAC Review)
Starcrossed is about a girl named Helen Hamilton, who seems to be a little bit strange compared to everyone else. She is freakishly tall, fast, and strong. And when the Delos family moves to town, she has an overbearing desire to murder one of the teenagers; she is determined to kill Lucas Delos.
We learn very quickly that Helen and the Delos family are not normal people...in fact, they aren't actually human. They're demi-gods, stuck in the aftermath of one of the biggest wars on Earth, an ancient Greek war between the Gods.
I have to admit that it took me quite a while to get into this book. I had a couple of problems with it. The beginning reminded me a lot of a book that I read earlier in the year; Unearthly by Cynthia Hand (which I LOVED). And in some respects, this book was a lot like that one. A female character in high school who is clearly different from everyone else and there is that one guy who catches her eye, who also happens to be different...but he's just like her.
I think one of the reasons I felt this way for about the first 100 pages is because Angelini doesn't really give us a lot of information about what Helen really is. The reader has no idea until Helen finds out...which takes a while. At first, this really made me frustrated because I felt a little lost, but as I got more and more into the book I liked the fact that the I got to make my own theories about things before I was given the whole story.
I ended up reading this book at a really interesting time. I found the subject of Greek Gods popping up all over my life. I'm taking an Ancient Greek Philosophy course this semester and of course the first readings we had for the class were all about the Greek Gods. I ended up doing those readings and finishing Starcrossed the weekend Hurricane Irene hit and I felt like my entire life was completely focused on that subject. It's funny how things work out like that sometimes.
My favorite part was definitely learning some of the myths about the Gods. I'm kind of a mythology freak as it is and while this book clearly did not give the whole story, I felt like it explained the war between the Gods really nicely. It was easy to understand and I could actually see this book being read for fun as part of a Greek Mythology class. The cliffhanger at the end was definitely infuriating and exciting all at the same time. While I love books that tease me and leave me hanging, it sucks to know that I have to wait A WHOLE YEAR before I get to find out what happens next.
:)
We learn very quickly that Helen and the Delos family are not normal people...in fact, they aren't actually human. They're demi-gods, stuck in the aftermath of one of the biggest wars on Earth, an ancient Greek war between the Gods.
I have to admit that it took me quite a while to get into this book. I had a couple of problems with it. The beginning reminded me a lot of a book that I read earlier in the year; Unearthly by Cynthia Hand (which I LOVED). And in some respects, this book was a lot like that one. A female character in high school who is clearly different from everyone else and there is that one guy who catches her eye, who also happens to be different...but he's just like her.
I think one of the reasons I felt this way for about the first 100 pages is because Angelini doesn't really give us a lot of information about what Helen really is. The reader has no idea until Helen finds out...which takes a while. At first, this really made me frustrated because I felt a little lost, but as I got more and more into the book I liked the fact that the I got to make my own theories about things before I was given the whole story.
I ended up reading this book at a really interesting time. I found the subject of Greek Gods popping up all over my life. I'm taking an Ancient Greek Philosophy course this semester and of course the first readings we had for the class were all about the Greek Gods. I ended up doing those readings and finishing Starcrossed the weekend Hurricane Irene hit and I felt like my entire life was completely focused on that subject. It's funny how things work out like that sometimes.
My favorite part was definitely learning some of the myths about the Gods. I'm kind of a mythology freak as it is and while this book clearly did not give the whole story, I felt like it explained the war between the Gods really nicely. It was easy to understand and I could actually see this book being read for fun as part of a Greek Mythology class. The cliffhanger at the end was definitely infuriating and exciting all at the same time. While I love books that tease me and leave me hanging, it sucks to know that I have to wait A WHOLE YEAR before I get to find out what happens next.
:)
August 24, 2011
My Dear Mr. Potter Letter
Ok, so I recently finished reading Dear Mr. Potter and it was absolutely amazing. It got me thinking about my own story and how Harry has affected my life. I wrote this letter about a month ago and haven't touched it since. It probably doesn't totally make sense, nor is it edited at all, but I felt like I should share it. So here it is. I hope you enjoy my story :)
Dear Mr. Potter,
I am a part of the Potter Generation. I found Harry in 3rd grade. The year was 1999 and Prisoner of Azkaban had just been published, although I didn’t know that. I picked up a copy of Sorcerer’s Stone during class, when I had finished all my work and had nothing to do. I don’t think I even finished the first chapter before I got bored and put it down. Now, that was a very unusual moment for me, given that at that age I was already an avid reader and would read almost anything. But, it just didn’t grab my attention.
If I had actually looked at the back of the book and knew what it was about, I probably would have had a very different opinion. But I didn’t. I was just looking for something to pass the time.
Fast forward to June of 2000, right before Goblet of Fire. My grandma got me the second book for my birthday, and to be nice, I figured I would give the series another go. I fell in love. I finished the first book in a week, which was pretty good for my 9 year-old self. I devoured books two and three just in time for the release of Goblet of Fire. I begged my mom to buy a copy for me at the bookstore, but she said it was too much money and I would have to wait for the paperback copy to come out. HOW UNFAIR, I thought to myself.
It was a Saturday morning and I was about to play a game with my sister when my dad came home with a copy of Goblet of Fire in HARDCOVER for me. I was thrilled. I quickly ditched my sister and sat on the couch all day reading. Even now, she still teases me about how I chose a book over hanging out with her. But I truly believe that was the moment I got hooked. Although I loved the first three books, I didn’t understand that feeling of craving to find out what happens next until the fourth book, when I wanted it so bad, but couldn’t have it.
I didn’t go to the midnight release for Order of the Phoenix, mostly because I was still a bit too young and my parents weren’t willing to stay up that late with me to get a book. But I did buy it the very next day and I remember I spent most of our family vacation that summer in our condo reading. I told my parents it could be their birthday gift to me; letting me sit inside and read in peace.
Half-Blood Prince came out the summer before I started high school. By then I was old enough to attend the midnight release and I was so excited. Unfortunately, I got pneumonia the week before. I really shouldn’t have been out that night, let alone awake at midnight to get a book, but I somehow convinced my mom to let me go anyway. We had an agreement though. I could go to the midnight release and stay up and read the first chapter, but then I had to go to bed. I did just that, and when I woke up Saturday morning, I sat in bed resting (and reading) all day long.
In November 2005, I met my best friend. We had been in health class together all semester, but one day, a couple of weeks before Goblet of Fire came out in theaters, I noticed she was wearing a Harry Potter pin. The fact that we had been in a class together for 3 months and didn’t know seemed crazy. We became instant friends, and we still are. In fact, we just attended LeakyCon 2011 together. Six years later, Harry is still bringing us together even though we are 3000 miles apart.
The rest moves pretty rapidly. I discovered The Leaky Cauldron not long after Karina and I became friends and I was instantly sucked into the online fandom. I attended my first con in 2006; it was Lumos in Las Vegas, NV. Somewhere in between that and Deathly Hallows, I attended my first wizard rock shows. Then Karina and I went together to get Deathly Hallows at midnight and we sat up all night reading and eating brownies in my living room. And then it was over.
Except that it wasn’t. In January of 2010, I came across The Harry Potter Alliance, though not for the first time. They were doing a campaign called Helping Haiti Heal, and it touched my heart. My dad had just been diagnosed with stage four melanoma and I was looking for a way to do something good because I wanted to help people. I became very involved in the campaign and that March I started an HPA chapter on my campus.
The point of this really long letter is that Harry Potter has changed my life, as it has for so many people. It’s a series that has been with me through the good and the bad. And it led to something amazing, something that I never would have seen myself doing, although I know now that I have the heart for it; advocacy work. I believe in standing up for what is right and I believe that it is our duty to help those in need, whether it’s people in our local communities or people across the world.
That is something I don’t think I would have figured out if it weren’t for Harry.
So thank you JKR, for writing books that have changed my life, allowed me to meet amazing friends, and allowed me to go crazy at THREE Harry Potter cons. Without those experiences, I would not be who I am today. I cannot wait to share these same experiences with my children someday. I hope you will do for them what you have done for me.
With Love Always,
Beverly
Dear Mr. Potter,
I am a part of the Potter Generation. I found Harry in 3rd grade. The year was 1999 and Prisoner of Azkaban had just been published, although I didn’t know that. I picked up a copy of Sorcerer’s Stone during class, when I had finished all my work and had nothing to do. I don’t think I even finished the first chapter before I got bored and put it down. Now, that was a very unusual moment for me, given that at that age I was already an avid reader and would read almost anything. But, it just didn’t grab my attention.
If I had actually looked at the back of the book and knew what it was about, I probably would have had a very different opinion. But I didn’t. I was just looking for something to pass the time.
Fast forward to June of 2000, right before Goblet of Fire. My grandma got me the second book for my birthday, and to be nice, I figured I would give the series another go. I fell in love. I finished the first book in a week, which was pretty good for my 9 year-old self. I devoured books two and three just in time for the release of Goblet of Fire. I begged my mom to buy a copy for me at the bookstore, but she said it was too much money and I would have to wait for the paperback copy to come out. HOW UNFAIR, I thought to myself.
It was a Saturday morning and I was about to play a game with my sister when my dad came home with a copy of Goblet of Fire in HARDCOVER for me. I was thrilled. I quickly ditched my sister and sat on the couch all day reading. Even now, she still teases me about how I chose a book over hanging out with her. But I truly believe that was the moment I got hooked. Although I loved the first three books, I didn’t understand that feeling of craving to find out what happens next until the fourth book, when I wanted it so bad, but couldn’t have it.
I didn’t go to the midnight release for Order of the Phoenix, mostly because I was still a bit too young and my parents weren’t willing to stay up that late with me to get a book. But I did buy it the very next day and I remember I spent most of our family vacation that summer in our condo reading. I told my parents it could be their birthday gift to me; letting me sit inside and read in peace.
Half-Blood Prince came out the summer before I started high school. By then I was old enough to attend the midnight release and I was so excited. Unfortunately, I got pneumonia the week before. I really shouldn’t have been out that night, let alone awake at midnight to get a book, but I somehow convinced my mom to let me go anyway. We had an agreement though. I could go to the midnight release and stay up and read the first chapter, but then I had to go to bed. I did just that, and when I woke up Saturday morning, I sat in bed resting (and reading) all day long.
In November 2005, I met my best friend. We had been in health class together all semester, but one day, a couple of weeks before Goblet of Fire came out in theaters, I noticed she was wearing a Harry Potter pin. The fact that we had been in a class together for 3 months and didn’t know seemed crazy. We became instant friends, and we still are. In fact, we just attended LeakyCon 2011 together. Six years later, Harry is still bringing us together even though we are 3000 miles apart.
The rest moves pretty rapidly. I discovered The Leaky Cauldron not long after Karina and I became friends and I was instantly sucked into the online fandom. I attended my first con in 2006; it was Lumos in Las Vegas, NV. Somewhere in between that and Deathly Hallows, I attended my first wizard rock shows. Then Karina and I went together to get Deathly Hallows at midnight and we sat up all night reading and eating brownies in my living room. And then it was over.
Except that it wasn’t. In January of 2010, I came across The Harry Potter Alliance, though not for the first time. They were doing a campaign called Helping Haiti Heal, and it touched my heart. My dad had just been diagnosed with stage four melanoma and I was looking for a way to do something good because I wanted to help people. I became very involved in the campaign and that March I started an HPA chapter on my campus.
The point of this really long letter is that Harry Potter has changed my life, as it has for so many people. It’s a series that has been with me through the good and the bad. And it led to something amazing, something that I never would have seen myself doing, although I know now that I have the heart for it; advocacy work. I believe in standing up for what is right and I believe that it is our duty to help those in need, whether it’s people in our local communities or people across the world.
That is something I don’t think I would have figured out if it weren’t for Harry.
So thank you JKR, for writing books that have changed my life, allowed me to meet amazing friends, and allowed me to go crazy at THREE Harry Potter cons. Without those experiences, I would not be who I am today. I cannot wait to share these same experiences with my children someday. I hope you will do for them what you have done for me.
With Love Always,
Beverly
July 24, 2011
LeakyCon. Woah. Days 1 and 2 :)
I don’t even know how to begin to describe LeakyCon to you. It was the most amazing, different, and exciting experience I’ve ever had. Now I know that I’m not exactly a con newbie, but this con was totally different. It was intense. Now maybe it's because there were 3400 crazy Harry Potter fans there and maybe it's because of all the hype for the movie coming out, but without a doubt it was a magical weekend.
Tuesday morning we started off bright and early on a lovely flight to Orlando. Karina and I got lucky enough to sit next to a girl named Ashley, who also happened to be attending LeakyCon. We also noticed about 4 other people on the plane who were on their way to Hogwarts too. After settling in to the hotel and grabbing some dinner with my lovely roommates, we got a text hinting that registration was going to open that night, so we ventured down to the conference area to find a huge group of people sitting in a giant circle playing games. We stayed down there for about four hours and they did open registration, but that is where the problems began. Things were missing and only certain letters were done and of course mine wasn't one of them. So we went back upstairs to catch a few hours of sleep before waking up at 6am to get back in line for registration.
Now, I'm not going to lie. Wednesday morning sucked. We got downstairs around 6:30am and even though we were pretty much first in line, we were about to go through complete and total chaos. We went from the regular registration line to the Lit Day registration line. Then I got a Lit Day pass, but my regular registration was missing. So I went back to the regular registration line. Found Karen from the HPA. Asked her what to do. She couldn't find my registration and said she would call me when it turned up. In the meantime, it was getting close to 9am and the beginning of Lit Day. Meanwhile, Karina had found out she had been deregistered and was standing in the conflict resolution line, which was slowly but surely getting very very long. I went and stood with her and we met this really awesome couple who we basically ended up seeing everywhere we went (more on that later) and finally around 8:30am we got our registration all nice and fixed. We rushed upstairs to shower and get ready only to find out that Lit Day was being pushed back an hour. By the time we got downstairs, the conflict resolution line was taking over the entire conference area. It was intense. We also met our good friend Adam from Australia that morning. He put us in his video on YouTube:
We're the ones with the awesome socks fyi :)
I know up to this point there has been a lot of detail and if it's boring you, I'm sorry. But now I promise I'm going to get to the fun stuff. Which does not include as much detail.
Let me sum up Lit Day for you. I met a bunch of awesome editors and I learned a lot about publishing. Now for me that was a little odd, because I wasn't expecting to come away with as much as I did. I went in to Lit Day thinking that I would listen to editors talk about their jobs and fantasize about how one day, hopefully one day soon (well after college of course) that that would be me. But I genuinely learned a lot from the panels. I took a ton of notes (which my internship adviser will love I'm sure) and I got to speak to the editor who really stated it all for me, Cheryl Klein. I think I probably scared her a little bit when I went up to her and told her that a conversation with her right before Lumos in 2006 was the moment I realized I wanted to be an editor, but I hope she understood how much that one little conversation meant to me. Hopefully she saw it as flattering instead of creepy. The one thing I will take away the most from those panels was a relationship between an agent and an editor. I never really considered the agent-editor relationship. In my head, it was always about publishing the book. But I realized that it isn't just about the editing and designing and selling. An agent plays a huge role. It was really insightful to listen to agents as well as the editors speaking.
The coolest part of Lit Day was definitely meeting Libba Bray. While she was in the middle of signing my book, I mentioned my friend Nicole from www.wordforteens.com, to which she gleefully replied, "OMG you know Nicole?!?! I love her! How do you know her?" which then proceeded to start a lovely conversation about how we were part of the HPA together and how she went to my school and was one of my closest friends. It was pretty exciting.
Oh yes, I also saw John Green and Maureen Johnson. I love them both.
Wednesday night began the opening festivities, which you've now caught a glimpse of if you watched the video above. There was a video yearbook as well as live performances by Hank Green, Team Starkid, and of course, Harry and the Potters. The Great Hall looked fantastic. It actually felt like Hogwarts.
After the opening festivities, we all headed over to the park for the Open at the Close event. Karina and I didn't end up going on any rides, but we did walk around Hogsmeade and we made the walk through Hogwarts. The coolest part of the night was when we were in line to get on the boat back to the hotel. Chris Rankin and his girlfriend were let on the boat before us and when we got on we ended up sitting next to John Green and Maureen Johnson. Maureen looked exhausted and was just kind of sitting there staring off into space, but I took the opportunity to say hello to John and ask him for a picture. It was the perfect ending for our first night at Hogwarts!
**More to come soon. It's just way too much to talk about in one post.**
Until next time! :)
Tuesday morning we started off bright and early on a lovely flight to Orlando. Karina and I got lucky enough to sit next to a girl named Ashley, who also happened to be attending LeakyCon. We also noticed about 4 other people on the plane who were on their way to Hogwarts too. After settling in to the hotel and grabbing some dinner with my lovely roommates, we got a text hinting that registration was going to open that night, so we ventured down to the conference area to find a huge group of people sitting in a giant circle playing games. We stayed down there for about four hours and they did open registration, but that is where the problems began. Things were missing and only certain letters were done and of course mine wasn't one of them. So we went back upstairs to catch a few hours of sleep before waking up at 6am to get back in line for registration.
Now, I'm not going to lie. Wednesday morning sucked. We got downstairs around 6:30am and even though we were pretty much first in line, we were about to go through complete and total chaos. We went from the regular registration line to the Lit Day registration line. Then I got a Lit Day pass, but my regular registration was missing. So I went back to the regular registration line. Found Karen from the HPA. Asked her what to do. She couldn't find my registration and said she would call me when it turned up. In the meantime, it was getting close to 9am and the beginning of Lit Day. Meanwhile, Karina had found out she had been deregistered and was standing in the conflict resolution line, which was slowly but surely getting very very long. I went and stood with her and we met this really awesome couple who we basically ended up seeing everywhere we went (more on that later) and finally around 8:30am we got our registration all nice and fixed. We rushed upstairs to shower and get ready only to find out that Lit Day was being pushed back an hour. By the time we got downstairs, the conflict resolution line was taking over the entire conference area. It was intense. We also met our good friend Adam from Australia that morning. He put us in his video on YouTube:
We're the ones with the awesome socks fyi :)
I know up to this point there has been a lot of detail and if it's boring you, I'm sorry. But now I promise I'm going to get to the fun stuff. Which does not include as much detail.
Let me sum up Lit Day for you. I met a bunch of awesome editors and I learned a lot about publishing. Now for me that was a little odd, because I wasn't expecting to come away with as much as I did. I went in to Lit Day thinking that I would listen to editors talk about their jobs and fantasize about how one day, hopefully one day soon (well after college of course) that that would be me. But I genuinely learned a lot from the panels. I took a ton of notes (which my internship adviser will love I'm sure) and I got to speak to the editor who really stated it all for me, Cheryl Klein. I think I probably scared her a little bit when I went up to her and told her that a conversation with her right before Lumos in 2006 was the moment I realized I wanted to be an editor, but I hope she understood how much that one little conversation meant to me. Hopefully she saw it as flattering instead of creepy. The one thing I will take away the most from those panels was a relationship between an agent and an editor. I never really considered the agent-editor relationship. In my head, it was always about publishing the book. But I realized that it isn't just about the editing and designing and selling. An agent plays a huge role. It was really insightful to listen to agents as well as the editors speaking.
The coolest part of Lit Day was definitely meeting Libba Bray. While she was in the middle of signing my book, I mentioned my friend Nicole from www.wordforteens.com, to which she gleefully replied, "OMG you know Nicole?!?! I love her! How do you know her?" which then proceeded to start a lovely conversation about how we were part of the HPA together and how she went to my school and was one of my closest friends. It was pretty exciting.
Oh yes, I also saw John Green and Maureen Johnson. I love them both.
Wednesday night began the opening festivities, which you've now caught a glimpse of if you watched the video above. There was a video yearbook as well as live performances by Hank Green, Team Starkid, and of course, Harry and the Potters. The Great Hall looked fantastic. It actually felt like Hogwarts.
After the opening festivities, we all headed over to the park for the Open at the Close event. Karina and I didn't end up going on any rides, but we did walk around Hogsmeade and we made the walk through Hogwarts. The coolest part of the night was when we were in line to get on the boat back to the hotel. Chris Rankin and his girlfriend were let on the boat before us and when we got on we ended up sitting next to John Green and Maureen Johnson. Maureen looked exhausted and was just kind of sitting there staring off into space, but I took the opportunity to say hello to John and ask him for a picture. It was the perfect ending for our first night at Hogwarts!
**More to come soon. It's just way too much to talk about in one post.**
Until next time! :)
June 27, 2011
My Family Vacation
Originally I was going to cheerily blog about each portion of my vacation and all the cool things that we've gotten to do. But instead I've figured out something very important that I want to talk about. It may seem like I'm complaining, but I'm not. It's more like I've come to this realization and am now calmly waiting out the ride, so to speak.
First off, family vacations are a big thing in my family. When I was about five years old, we inherited a timeshare from my great aunt and our family began using it every summer for our vacation. The first two summers we visited Lake Tahoe. Our timeshare includes a super nice condo, usually in places that have a ton of fun activities for families to do throughout their week stay. When we were younger, there were always a bunch of kids running around the place and we usually ended up making some good friends for the week.
Over the years, using our condo for a week every summer became a tradition for us. We got it down to a system. We would arrive and unpack everything into all the drawers. It used to feel like we were trying out a new home for a week and we had a lot of fun with it. Next, we would be off to the local supermarket to stock up on food for the week, including always buying something that we could BBQ because of course the condos come fully equipped with a kitchen, grill, and lovely patio. Then it would be dinnertime and after dinner was planning time.
This was my favorite part. My dad and I shared the fact that we were both planners. We would sit down at the table with a bunch of brochures about the area and activities and my dad would plan out the week...with my help of course. It was our thing. Each day we did something unique and exciting and we truly had a ton of fun.
This year, family vacation was different, to say the least. First off, and most importantly, it's the first vacation we've taken since my dad died. We had originally planned to go on a small trip together last summer, but I got really sick and we ended up cancelling the trip. So needless to say, it was hard. A huge part of my memories of these trips is being with my dad and having a wonderful time. And this year, he wasn't here. So tradition was already broken.
Secondly, and this is partly my own fault, is that my sister's boyfriend came along on this trip. Back in like, March, my mom asked me if I'd be okay with him coming on our family vacation. At the time, I didn't think anything of it. Alex is already a big part of our family and I thought it would be fun, so I said yes. But it really hasn't been fun at all. The truth is, since my life is at school in New Paltz, my mom, my sister, and her bf have formed a different kind of relationship. Yes, I'm still a part of the family, but the three of them are always together and they have their own, new way of living, which doesn't include me. Now of course that is fine. That's the way it's supposed to be. But I've been home for over a month now and they haven't been able to adjust to include me in the family. And frankly, I feel left out and completely alone.
See the three of them are very much alike and they get along really well. And it's great. I'm actually thrilled that it's like that. But I don't fit in and lately I feel like they gang up on me all the time. So the majority of this vacation I have spent either actually by myself, or feeling completely alone because they don't include me in their conversations. Like Harry at the Dursleys, I sort of just take up space.
Now comes the realization. I don't actually care that they aren't including me, although at times it's been hard (like the ganging up on me thing) because the truth is I don't want to be here.
I want to be in New Paltz.
It's amazing how prior to Spring Break, I wasn't sure I would ever be okay on my own, and after, I realized that I had a great life there and was completely ready to be on my own. My life is in New Paltz. My friends are there, my school is there, and the organizations that make college so great are all there. My entire life is there. And I'm stuck here. It's hard to be your life on pause, especially when it's just getting started, which is how I feel. My life really started to come together this last April and I began accomplishing things that I was really proud of and excited about. I finally feel like I have a solid group of friends and I'm a part of something that I've worked really hard to become a part of. And right as all that started coming together, school ended and I had to come home. And now, my life is on hold until August 19th.
It's extremely difficult. And I've come to realize it even more so on this vacation, with a bunch of people who are family by blood, but not really a part of my life anymore...at least not the way they used to be. Family is still important, but they are no longer the priority in my life. In a sense, my mom has done her job. She's raised me and guided me through some rough things, but now her job is over and it's time for me to take control of my own life and start pursuing what I want. And most importantly, it's time for me to stop coming home. That part of my life is over and I'm looking onward to the next part, where I really get to become an adult.
So with this realization, I sit in this condo, holding out for two more days until this vacation is over. I'm counting down the days until LeakyCon, which includes something that has completely changed my college career (The HPA) and counting the days until I can return home, to my life in New Paltz, which is where I truly belong.
First off, family vacations are a big thing in my family. When I was about five years old, we inherited a timeshare from my great aunt and our family began using it every summer for our vacation. The first two summers we visited Lake Tahoe. Our timeshare includes a super nice condo, usually in places that have a ton of fun activities for families to do throughout their week stay. When we were younger, there were always a bunch of kids running around the place and we usually ended up making some good friends for the week.
Over the years, using our condo for a week every summer became a tradition for us. We got it down to a system. We would arrive and unpack everything into all the drawers. It used to feel like we were trying out a new home for a week and we had a lot of fun with it. Next, we would be off to the local supermarket to stock up on food for the week, including always buying something that we could BBQ because of course the condos come fully equipped with a kitchen, grill, and lovely patio. Then it would be dinnertime and after dinner was planning time.
This was my favorite part. My dad and I shared the fact that we were both planners. We would sit down at the table with a bunch of brochures about the area and activities and my dad would plan out the week...with my help of course. It was our thing. Each day we did something unique and exciting and we truly had a ton of fun.
This year, family vacation was different, to say the least. First off, and most importantly, it's the first vacation we've taken since my dad died. We had originally planned to go on a small trip together last summer, but I got really sick and we ended up cancelling the trip. So needless to say, it was hard. A huge part of my memories of these trips is being with my dad and having a wonderful time. And this year, he wasn't here. So tradition was already broken.
Secondly, and this is partly my own fault, is that my sister's boyfriend came along on this trip. Back in like, March, my mom asked me if I'd be okay with him coming on our family vacation. At the time, I didn't think anything of it. Alex is already a big part of our family and I thought it would be fun, so I said yes. But it really hasn't been fun at all. The truth is, since my life is at school in New Paltz, my mom, my sister, and her bf have formed a different kind of relationship. Yes, I'm still a part of the family, but the three of them are always together and they have their own, new way of living, which doesn't include me. Now of course that is fine. That's the way it's supposed to be. But I've been home for over a month now and they haven't been able to adjust to include me in the family. And frankly, I feel left out and completely alone.
See the three of them are very much alike and they get along really well. And it's great. I'm actually thrilled that it's like that. But I don't fit in and lately I feel like they gang up on me all the time. So the majority of this vacation I have spent either actually by myself, or feeling completely alone because they don't include me in their conversations. Like Harry at the Dursleys, I sort of just take up space.
Now comes the realization. I don't actually care that they aren't including me, although at times it's been hard (like the ganging up on me thing) because the truth is I don't want to be here.
I want to be in New Paltz.
It's amazing how prior to Spring Break, I wasn't sure I would ever be okay on my own, and after, I realized that I had a great life there and was completely ready to be on my own. My life is in New Paltz. My friends are there, my school is there, and the organizations that make college so great are all there. My entire life is there. And I'm stuck here. It's hard to be your life on pause, especially when it's just getting started, which is how I feel. My life really started to come together this last April and I began accomplishing things that I was really proud of and excited about. I finally feel like I have a solid group of friends and I'm a part of something that I've worked really hard to become a part of. And right as all that started coming together, school ended and I had to come home. And now, my life is on hold until August 19th.
It's extremely difficult. And I've come to realize it even more so on this vacation, with a bunch of people who are family by blood, but not really a part of my life anymore...at least not the way they used to be. Family is still important, but they are no longer the priority in my life. In a sense, my mom has done her job. She's raised me and guided me through some rough things, but now her job is over and it's time for me to take control of my own life and start pursuing what I want. And most importantly, it's time for me to stop coming home. That part of my life is over and I'm looking onward to the next part, where I really get to become an adult.
So with this realization, I sit in this condo, holding out for two more days until this vacation is over. I'm counting down the days until LeakyCon, which includes something that has completely changed my college career (The HPA) and counting the days until I can return home, to my life in New Paltz, which is where I truly belong.
June 21, 2011
RIP Paul Seay
Yesterday, a good friend of mine passed away. I met Paul when I was a junior in high school. It was the night of the MORP dance and both Ashli and Karina had dates, and I, well, didn't. About halfway through the dance, I was feeling so alone and left out that I left. I called Mace, who happened to be at Lalina's, and decided to meet him over there until the dance was over because I had to still had to go back for clean-up.
I wasn't at Lalina's very long, but for the 20 or so minutes I was there, it was quite obvious that Paul was a crazy, interesting guy. Plus, I thought he was really cute. I probably had a crush on him for over a year, though of course nothing ever happened. But then again, I never really tried.
I really got to know Paul when I got really involved with BBYO my senior year of high school. I also started dating one of his friends and for about 3 months I swear that group was together every night. Paul was always doing or saying something ridiculous. The thing I remember the most was when he bought his hookah. I can't remember what he named her, but she was his most prized possession. He treated her like she was his baby.
I also remember one night where there were about 7 too many people trying to cram into his little mustang (which, by the way, is the best car I have ever seen/been in in my entire life). I'm pretty sure everyone was drunk except for me, so for some reason they all decided I should drive the car with NINE PEOPLE in it. I actually was really excited to drive that car because Paul never let anyone drive it, but then it started to rain and I panicked and I think Igal ending up driving the car.
It makes me sad to think that I haven't really hung out with him since last summer. As I start to build more of a life in New Paltz, my life from Vegas is fading away and I've lost touch with a ton of people who made high school an amazing experience. Hearing the news last night that this person I used to be close to was gone was really difficult, especially because my family has seen a lot of death in the last year.
I don't know if I believe in heaven or not, but I hope that wherever he is, it's a better place. Knowing Paul, he's probably having a great time, because no matter what, that's what he always did when he was here. He had a way of looking at life that most people don't and was just happy to be alive and enjoying whatever came along. That is something I will continue to admire about him for a very long time to come.
RIP Paul <3
I wasn't at Lalina's very long, but for the 20 or so minutes I was there, it was quite obvious that Paul was a crazy, interesting guy. Plus, I thought he was really cute. I probably had a crush on him for over a year, though of course nothing ever happened. But then again, I never really tried.
I really got to know Paul when I got really involved with BBYO my senior year of high school. I also started dating one of his friends and for about 3 months I swear that group was together every night. Paul was always doing or saying something ridiculous. The thing I remember the most was when he bought his hookah. I can't remember what he named her, but she was his most prized possession. He treated her like she was his baby.
I also remember one night where there were about 7 too many people trying to cram into his little mustang (which, by the way, is the best car I have ever seen/been in in my entire life). I'm pretty sure everyone was drunk except for me, so for some reason they all decided I should drive the car with NINE PEOPLE in it. I actually was really excited to drive that car because Paul never let anyone drive it, but then it started to rain and I panicked and I think Igal ending up driving the car.
It makes me sad to think that I haven't really hung out with him since last summer. As I start to build more of a life in New Paltz, my life from Vegas is fading away and I've lost touch with a ton of people who made high school an amazing experience. Hearing the news last night that this person I used to be close to was gone was really difficult, especially because my family has seen a lot of death in the last year.
I don't know if I believe in heaven or not, but I hope that wherever he is, it's a better place. Knowing Paul, he's probably having a great time, because no matter what, that's what he always did when he was here. He had a way of looking at life that most people don't and was just happy to be alive and enjoying whatever came along. That is something I will continue to admire about him for a very long time to come.
RIP Paul <3
June 20, 2011
Guys...There are a lot of Owls
So by now I'm sure we all know about the owls gathering and pottermore.com. If not, then I don't where you've been, but I suggest you get caught up with the world. Honestly, last Wednesday was completely exciting. For one, it was my birthday, and when I saw that JK Rowling was throwing clues about something around the internet, I got really excited and thought it was the best birthday present in the world.
I have to admit, I was a fan of the #morepotter instead of #pottermore, but that's okay. There was something that made me really angry about 3 or 4 coordinates into the game. Someone posted a spoiler on Twitter, ruining the entire experience for fans. And it wasn't even a *HINT, THIS IS A SPOILER* kind of message. It flat out said, "Oh hey guys, so basically it says Pottermore" AND DONE. I mean yes, it wasn't the most complicated of messages to figure out, but as someone who has never before been a part of deciphering JK Rowling's clues, I wanted the experience and I wanted to figure it out for myself.
Anyway, there is of course a ton of speculation about what Pottermore is going to be. A lot of my friends are saying it's going to be like a message board type thing, but I feel like that is
1)slightly anti-climatic
and
2)not really necessary because there are a ton of forums about Harry Potter all over the internet
However, I have absolutely no idea what I think it is. I was discussing it with my mom the other day and she came up with the idea that maybe it is some sort of Advocacy Project that JK Rowling is working on. That sounds kind of cool, so for now, that's my sort of theory.
Anyway, have you guys seen all the owls on the YouTube...there's like 19 or something. I counted them this morning. Only 2 more days 18 hours, and 4 minutes left until the big announcement!
What do you think it is? :)
If you have not seen the owls, I suggest you go:
www.pottermore.com
www.youtube.com/jkrowlingannounces
IMMEDIATELY!
I have to admit, I was a fan of the #morepotter instead of #pottermore, but that's okay. There was something that made me really angry about 3 or 4 coordinates into the game. Someone posted a spoiler on Twitter, ruining the entire experience for fans. And it wasn't even a *HINT, THIS IS A SPOILER* kind of message. It flat out said, "Oh hey guys, so basically it says Pottermore" AND DONE. I mean yes, it wasn't the most complicated of messages to figure out, but as someone who has never before been a part of deciphering JK Rowling's clues, I wanted the experience and I wanted to figure it out for myself.
Anyway, there is of course a ton of speculation about what Pottermore is going to be. A lot of my friends are saying it's going to be like a message board type thing, but I feel like that is
1)slightly anti-climatic
and
2)not really necessary because there are a ton of forums about Harry Potter all over the internet
However, I have absolutely no idea what I think it is. I was discussing it with my mom the other day and she came up with the idea that maybe it is some sort of Advocacy Project that JK Rowling is working on. That sounds kind of cool, so for now, that's my sort of theory.
Anyway, have you guys seen all the owls on the YouTube...there's like 19 or something. I counted them this morning. Only 2 more days 18 hours, and 4 minutes left until the big announcement!
What do you think it is? :)
If you have not seen the owls, I suggest you go:
www.pottermore.com
www.youtube.com/jkrowlingannounces
IMMEDIATELY!
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